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Affective Marriage
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Close to 30 years in one monogomous relationship, I often wonder, when can you proclaim that you have a successful marriage. I have heard of couples getting divorced within a year, and even after 36 years. After a 36 year marriage, that ends in divorce, can you say that was a successful marriage? I came to the conclusion that the only way you can proclaim you have (had) a successful marriage is if you are a widow or a widower. One partner died, and you can say, “yes, it was successful, because we were still married when the partner died”. I am not looking forward to that proclamation by either myself or my husband.
So, what is an affective marriage? Affective is the domain of being motivated and inspired. I would then conclude that an affective marriage is a marriage that motivates and inspires you to be the best you can be. Do you get motivated by your partner’s actions? They are trying to “get healthy”, so it motivates and inspires you to “get healthy too”. They or you are learning about a new subject or topic, or have taken up a new interest or hobby. Does that motivate you to join in? Or at least ask about their new interest? It should. I never knew so much about James Bond, military airplanes or motorcycles until I entered a relationship with my husband. He in turn knows alot more about dog and horse breeds, my culture and country and Journey (the greatest rock band ever!).
I found this quote that I especially enjoyed tonight:
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
Sydney Smith
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_marriage2.html#gVHoKVjALFDwrxmV.99
Come together, and go apart. Be your own blade, but stay connected, and have similarities. AND always, punish anything that gets between you….You will then have an Affective, and Successful Marriage until the of time.
Affective Learning 